Trips during my last months with Terminal Cancer

The end of November, we went to Zion National park. It is less than an hour from our home. I enjoyed walking a little ways with my husband along the river. It is so immense and peaceful there. 

Eating with Cancer

A cheerful place to eat helped           

 

These suggestions come from reference material I found online, things given to me by the nurse practitioner, and from my own experience. I wrote this for a friend's sister and thought I might need it and others might find it helpful, so here it is. 

1. Nausea Meds -Get prescription medication from her doctor to help with nausea. It can really help. Take your anti-nausea medication as prescribed. Medications work differently so you may need several medications to find a solution. I took -

• Ondansetron (also gave during surgery to keep me from getting sick)

• Prochlorperazine (Compazine)

2. Don't smell the food any longer than it takes to eat it - It helped me (and still does) not to smell the food. I ate outside when I could. Garrett cooked while I stayed in another room. Eating in a room near a window helped instead of the smell remaining in the room where I spent most of my time in. Garrett opened windows so the smell of the food would go away quickly. If any smell makes you sick then try cool foods.

When Ovarian Cancer is no long in remission

 

A couple of days ago I had an appointment with my cancer doctor. It was obvious that my body is no longer responding to the Lynparza chemo drug which I've been taking for the last year to prevent my cancer from returning. The doctor explained that this often happens after taking Lynparza for that long. It has been losing its effectiveness for some time. It only took six months after I stopped having chemo treatments for the cancer to begin returning. At first we hoped that it might remain completely in remission for five years, but that hope faded as my cancer count continued to climb.

A Small "Tender Mercy"

 

My hair has come in a bit curly after falling out with the chemo. I've never been able to even curl or perm my hair. How fun!

This is a "tender mercy" to me to feel a little more feminine at this time when I need to have a double mastectomy and am unable to do reconstruction. It reminds me that the Lord knows and loves me each time I look in the mirror.

My 72 Birthday - Ovarian Cancer, MCAS, and Lynparza

 

I made it! Today is my 72nd birthday which I enjoyed spending with my family. 

Last year about this time, I was in the hospital and had been just diagnosed with ovarian cancer stage 3c (cancer cells covered all inside my abdomen, but had not yet invaded any organs). When I was asked what I wanted for my birthday, I replied, "to go home!"

I was told that without chemo treatment, I would only live three months. My CA125 cancer marker was 1,900 (35 is where you have cancer) and there was little hope that I would live, but through the the power of God, the prayers of others, four chemo treatments, and an hysterectomy, my cancer is now in remission. 

This year I've come to feel how much I am loved, and have seen over and over how the Lord has interceded in my life to help me. Just this last month, I was concerned about having to go off of antihistamines for five days around the 4th of July so that the allergist could test for medications for my upcoming

Chemo Caused Anemia

So far the chemo has been helping me to feel better (after the first week), but now I need more rest to cope with the chemo induced anemia. I have made it through four chemo treatments before this happened, so I'm doing well.

Now, I'm losing a lot of the small amount of remaining hair I have. It has been two weeks since my 4th chemo, and now I'm seeing the effects of it. The chemo kills cells in my body which grow quickly. Hair goes quickly so it is being killed. Red and white blood cells also grow quickly which is why 90% of people who have chemo also become anemic, and why I take medicine to make more white blood cells. Most people taking chemo treatments are just mildly to moderately anemic. I'm only mildly anemic so I hope to make it through without having to have a transfusion and with some hair. Only two more chemos!

Why I am doing updates on my cancer treatments

I have assumed that many of you have felt as I have. You hear that someone has cancer and they ask for your prayers, then there is silence as they disappear into the deep, dark abyss called "Cancer". Probably a year later they reemerge to, hopefully, announce that they are healed. I've wondered what happened to them and worried about what horrors they were going through. The word, "cancer", has filled my soul with fear and dread. This is why I'm sharing my experiences. I hope this will make cancer treatments seem less frightening to you.

What is helping me make it through cancer

I have been thinking about what is helping me the most to make it through dealing with cancer. Of course my faith has to come first. I simply couldn't do this at all without the Lord helping me. Also, there is all the love and support I am receiving from my husband, and family and friends. I feel their prayers holding me up. These are all wonderful blessings and essential to my life and fight with cancer, but there is also something else which is helping me. This is what I have been thinking of this morning. It is having a positive attitude.

I confess that it does take some effort to think positively when going through cancer treatments, but it is making it much easier for me. I feel a sense of hope, power, and energy as I think positively. This sense of power seems to come from being closer to God and from not feeling like a victim. I don't need to have the Lord give me ease to know that He loves me, or succumb to helplessness if I'm not given what I want when I want it. Though I didn't choose to have cancer (who would!), I am not merely a victim in life, for I can still choose how I respond to it. 

Building a Relationship Strong Enough to Withstand Cancer

Building a Relationship Strong Enough to Withstand Cancer

Sept 2021
When I started to write this a year ago, I had no idea what the year would bring.  I was surprised the end of June when I was diagnosed with stage 3C ovarian cancer and told that without treatment, I would have only a few months to live. What I thought of most was how I wanted to be with my husband and family. When we celebrated our 49th wedding anniversary a few weeks ago, I cried. I felt so grateful that we were still together and so overwhelmed with all the love and support my husband is giving to me to help me through the cancer treatments. 

As I've read the words I wrote, I've thought of my husband's commitment, love, and faith. He has told me how beautiful I am when I just have a few wisps of hair remaining. He has brought me food to eat, read to me, pushed me in a wheelchair, and done everything he could to help me. As he says, "We're doing this together."

It has been wonderful to have the supportive relationship we have built over these past 49 years to help me make it through these challenging times. Here are some principles which have helped us develop a relationship strong enough to withstand cancer. 

Waiting for Cancer Surgery

                                                         Waiting Days

Longing for the days to pass,

I mark them off on my calendar,

anxious to get it over, but

dreading the operation

and the pain I will have to endure.

Trying to get into shape

and preparations to complete

fill my days, but not enough.

How having cancer is changing my life

How having cancer is changing my life

Sept 2021
Now that my ovarian cancer chemo treatments are beginning to be effective, I can see how much having cancer has improved my life and helped me be happier. I needed this opportunity to reevaluate my life and make changes in how I was living. 

I had been aware that I wasn't doing something right. I simply wasn't as happy as I wanted to be, and I felt tired and stressed at the end of each day, but it wasn't until I had cancer that I knew what I needed to change.