A couple of days ago I had an appointment with my cancer doctor. It was obvious that my body is no longer responding to the Lynparza chemo drug which I've been taking for the last year to prevent my cancer from returning. The doctor explained that this often happens after taking Lynparza for that long. It has been losing its effectiveness for some time. It only took six months after I stopped having chemo treatments for the cancer to begin returning. At first we hoped that it might remain completely in remission for five years, but that hope faded as my cancer count continued to climb.
At first my CA125 cancer marker went up just a point or two a month, but did not pass the 35 point where you are considered to have cancer. After my mastectomy surgery in July, it went up to 68, but it was possible that the increase might be caused by the surgery. In September (just a year from my last chemo treatment), my CA125 cancer marker went up to 109, and in October, it doubled to 210.
There is no denying it, my cancer has returned. A CT scan was done which showed that I do not have any tumors which is good, but it does mean that probably the cancer cells, which covered my whole abdominal cavity at the time of my hysterectomy, have begun to multiply again.
We all knew that it was just a matter of time before my cancer returned. When your cancer isn't discovered until it has spread throughout all your abdomen, that is just how it is. I can not be cured, and it will always come back no matter what is done.
Since I have the BRCA2 gene, an extremely reactive immune system, a heart murmur, circulatory problems, and am 72 years old, I have been told that I'm "not a good candidate" for more chemo treatments. The truth of the matter is that I am also not a good candidate for any other cancer treatment options such as estrogen blocking since I have such a high risk of blood clots and stroke, or for immunotherapy with its side effects on the immune system.
The most serious problem I am having is my blood pressure. I have not been able to get my diastolic (lower blood pressure) above 64 all month, and when I saw the doctor a couple of days ago, it was only 54. If the diastolic pressure is below 60, it means that I have a high risk of heart damage which can lead to heart failure.
Though some people with ovarian cancer* are able to remain alive for many years by taking chemo treatments, radiations, medications, and surgeries to keep their cancer in remission, I can not. "The bottom line" is that the only way to keep me alive, especially with my BRCA2 gene's inability to repair cancer damage, is by continuously having me on cancer treatments to destroy the cancer which, besides making me feel ill and tired, puts me at serious risk for dying suddenly from anaphylactic shock and/or heart failure. I simply can't take being poisoned any longer because my heart is failing. All cancer medications have serious side effects, and after a year and a half of constantly taking poison into my body, I'm simply physically unable to continue doing this any longer.
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Now for the good side. I am feeling pretty well right now especially after stopping taking the Lynparza pills. My blood pressure is going up, I have more energy, appetite, and feel more excited about life. I have a good prospect of having many months of feeling quite well and being active. I am enjoying riding my e-bike on the trails, going on walks, puttering around the house, and learning new things such as how to use my digital camera.
I have been blessed not to have any cancer at all until I was nearly 71 years old which in a real miracle for someone with the BRCA2 gene. I've also had an extra year and a half of time after finding out that I have cancer, and I might live many more months, or even a couple of years.
During this "extra" time I've had, I've been able to finish a huge project of recording my family history on the world largest family tree, FamilySearch.org**. Preserving our family stories and photos has been a big part of my life's work and is my legacy to my family. We have prepared our will and made funeral arrangements. Family relationships have been strengthened, I've learned a lot, and my faith and courage have been tested. My husband and I wanted to become more like our Savior and, I must admit, this experience has certainly been an opportunity to help us become more like Him and to feel His love and power in our lives. Though my body has not been healed, my spirit has, and I am happier than I have ever been. Though my heart longs to remain with my husband, family and friends, I have a deep sense of peace. I feel that I have nearly done all I am to do on this earth, and I am ready to move on to learn, help others, and have new adventures on the "other side", (but not quite yet!).
* cancers are always called by the name of the part of your body where they began even if they migrate to another area
familysearch.org the world largest family tree
It is free! "Our purpose is to help families work together to make connections and discover their heritage. " For more info see familysearch.org helpcenter
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