When Ovarian Cancer is no long in remission

 

A couple of days ago I had an appointment with my cancer doctor. It was obvious that my body is no longer responding to the Lynparza chemo drug which I've been taking for the last year to prevent my cancer from returning. The doctor explained that this often happens after taking Lynparza for that long. It has been losing its effectiveness for some time. It only took six months after I stopped having chemo treatments for the cancer to begin returning. At first we hoped that it might remain completely in remission for five years, but that hope faded as my cancer count continued to climb.

I had to Go Beyond Logic to Heal from Cancer

 

When I saw this video, The Binding, about Abraham and his son, Isaac, I cried.  Abraham knew that it didn't make sense to offer up his son. He knew that he had been promised a posterity as numerous as the sands of the sea through Isaac. Amazingly, he had the faith to do what the Lord asked of him no matter how illogical it seemed, because he knew he could trust the giver of the promise.

Less than a year ago at the time I became ill with cancer, I was given a promise from the Lord that I was being given a chance to heal. I also knew that my stage 3c Ovarian Cancer had spread throughout my entire abdomen giving me a high cancer count of 1,900 (35 is the point where you have cancer) and just three months to live. How could I possibly be healed?  

How I've Changed from having Cancer this last year

Though it seems like years ago, it has only been six months since I was diagnosed with Stage 3c Ovarian Cancer. My cancer was so advanced that I was given just three months to live unless chemo treatments could stop it. I have always known that I had many allergies and chemical sensitivities and had serious chronic fatigue with my adrenal glands quitting for 15 years, but I had still expected to live another twenty years. Now, here I was in the hospital on my 71st birthday undergoing tests for cancer and having to face that I might soon be leaving my husband, family, and friends. When my little granddaughter drew pictures for me of her future family, I cried. My heart ached to continue to be with everyone.

These last six months have been filled by me with many prayers for the faith and strength to make it through four chemo treatments and ovarian cancer surgery. Instead of me focusing on helping others, I also came to rely on others prayers and support to help me face what I knew I must do. I was especially overwhelmed by all the love and care my husband gave me day after day. I have never felt so loved.

I'm Grateful for Difficult Experiences

I'm grateful for having difficult experiences in my life. No, I'm not some masochistic person who enjoys suffering, and I can't say that I was grateful at the time things happened. Then I thought my life was going the wrong way, but as I've grown older, I've had the opportunity to understand why many things were allowed to happen in my life. I can now see how facing difficult experiences has helped me to build a strong relationship with my Heavenly Father. 

I coming to realize that God really knows me and cares for me. He has always been there to help me whenever I've asked for His help. This usually doesn't mean that His help comes in the way I had in mind, or when I think it should, but it always comes. As a good father, God has not given me what I want when I want it, but instead, He have given me what I truly need when I need it.