Right now so many of us are struggling with being restricted to our homes. As a person who feels that the experiences in life are opportunities to learn and grow, I've been wondering what could be learned from this pandemic. For a world that felt pretty confident in our abilities to handle anything, it has been humbling to see how quickly the whole world could be brought to its knees by a tiny virus. Many of us have come to realize how much we not only need others to help us, but how much we need a greater power, we need God's power, to help us survive. We have been given an opportunity to take a look at our lives. Are we spending our time, energies, and money on what matters most to us? How does it feel to spend more time with your family? Are you enjoying not rushing around so much, not feeling so pressured? What do you want to change in your life? Answer your wake up call. Take your chance for a new start.
If you work hard enough, can you become perfect? Of course not! Being perfect is being like our Heavenly Father and our Savior -- finished, complete, whole. It is a very long term goal that we can desire and work at in this life, and which we might reach sometime in the eternities, but only if we allow our Savior to help us. Why can't we become perfect on our own? The fact is that we learn by making mistakes. We do something; experience the consequences, then make a judgement on whether what we did was good or bad. Did it make us happy and bring us peace, or did it make us miserable, and fearful? This is what we are here to do: to learn and grow. Well, we certainly have making mistakes down pat, and we can even determine if we want to continue that behavior or never do it again, but how can we grow?
As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I know of no better way to reduce a group of church women into a miserable puddle of guilt, than to mention becoming perfect. Immediately, women begin bemoaning their "failures": their home isn't neat every moment, their children are not high achievers, their meals sometimes are not very nutritious, their hair has a mind of its own, their clothes aren't stylish, their weight is too much, their yard has weeds, they forget things, and worst of all, they sometimes get tired and grouchy.
When I wrote about being happy to have another birthday, I said that I wasn't afraid of dying. I thought I should explain why I said that.
I think most people are afraid of dying because they don't know what will happen to them. Some people think they will just cease to exist. Many people envision their spirit continuing in a place where there is not any suffering or pain, but where they will be single without their family. Though they have hoped and promised in this life that "their love will continue forever", they aren't sure it will.
What does happen after you die? Will you really cease to exist? Will you lose your body and be just be a spirit forever? Will your marriage and family be gone?
What do I feel about combining priesthood quorums in wards and about the new ministering program? Excited! I feel that we are being asked to raise to a new level, and that we are being helped to become people who will prepare the way for the Savior's second coming.
I know there will be some who wonder how I can "blindly" follow the leaders of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I don't wonder. I know I could never blindly follow anyone, but I'm not expected to simply follow. All members of The Church are encouraged to gain their own testimony of what changes the Lord wants to happen. This means
This true story gives me encouragement and hope for the future.
I have been feeling dissatisfied, ill at ease, that something isn't quite right--why? I should be ecstatic. We moved a few months ago from a place with lots of smog and cold winters. Now, we live in a desert and the winter is mild. The problems is that even though my environment has changed, I still need to change inside. I need to have faith that my life will be better here, and not let the past fifty years of chronic illness fill me with fear of the future and discourage me from trying to improve my life.
This morning I realized that I have to do more than wait for my health to improve, I need to take the action that will insure that it will be better. I need to do stretches and exercise, eat right, get plenty of rest, and monitor my medication. If I want to improve my relationship with my husband, then we need to spend time together doing things we enjoy, and I need to share my feelings and needs. If I am bored, then what can I do to serve others?
I am coming to realize that happiness isn't something to wait for, but something to work at. It is having hope for the future, then taking action to fulfill that hope. It is filling my mind with positive thoughts and keeping hate and negativeness out. It is trusting in the Lord and stepping forward into the darkness. Happiness is the fruit of faith. I can ensure my happiness when I have enough faith to do those things which will help me to be happier. My happiness is up to me.
He couldn’t be serious, but my husband seemed quite serious when he declared, “If that’s how you are at Christmas, we won’t celebrate it.” What was I doing wrong? This wasn’t the joyful time I had anticipated.
We had only been married a few months, and as our first Christmas together approached, I became increasingly tired, pressured, and grouchy. I was also lonely. My husband was going to school and working full time with a two hour commute, so he was rarely home, leaving me alone in a small trailer with no transportation. Since he was a mailman, he was working overtime seven days a week to keep up with the holiday rush. Yes, I was lonely, but I felt I was learning to cope. I kept my environment bright and cheerful, put up decorations, played Christmas music, turned on the lights, and kept my entertainment positive and up-beat, avoiding sad tear-jerkers. I planned things to do and kept busy. What helped the most was finding another neighbor who’s husband also worked late. We spent many evenings together happily working on projects.
We left the Oakland Temple, two converts filled with optimism and determination to make a celestial family. A few years later, I was in tears. Where was the loving, unified couple we had hoped to be? Our two fussy children hardly made us a happy family. What were we doing wrong?
As I saw us repeating old family traditions, I felt trapped. Neither of us had any idea how to do better. It was then that we began to realize that we couldn’t change by ourselves. No matter how hard we tried, we would simply go in circles and never be free from the mistakes of the past.
We began to see that the power to change came through the atonement. This thought brought us comfort and hope, but we still didn’t know what to do. I know I prayed for my husband and children to change, everyone but myself, and suspect that my husband had similar prayers. I asked for help and nothing happened. I was discouraged.
I wrote this in about 2010. Our marriage keeps getting better and better each year.
In the early years of our marriage I believed my husband loved me, but I sure didn’t feel very loved– now I do. What has changed? Is he really very different– am I? Sure we have shared a lot, but have we really changed all that much? What is different now?
A friend mentioned that she thought I have learned to relate better with my husband. I think she is right. I can remember an instance several years ago. I had packed up some Christmas decorations and placed them in the doorway informing my husband that they were ready to go up to the attic. For the next twenty minutes I watched in mounting frustration as my husband walked around the boxes. Finally I blurted out, “Why aren’t you taking the boxes to the attic!?”
This video really makes give a lot to think about. We have so much to thank our Savior for. Without Him life would have no purpose and there could be no change and growth. I am so grateful for His love and help.
I just saw this new Easter video. It is wonderful! It reminds us of the hope we have because of Him. #BecauseHeLives (I think I just did a hashtag!) This is a great site. Besides the video, it has pictures and a summary of the last week of the Savior's life. At the bottom of those pages are a question and answer and the opportunity to chat. it is great!
I love this video. It explains how we need a mediator in our lives, and how our Savior meets both the demands of justice and our need for mercy.
A woman said recently that she didn't think she could walk with Christ when she died. Are any of us worthy to do so? Can any of us grow and change on our own? I know I've tried, but like a person lost, I repeatedly end up back where started. If we try to become Christlike by ourselves, we will fail. We make mistakes everyday (almost every moment). Only through the power, the grace, which our Savior gives us, can we change. He can do anything. He has paid for all our mistakes. He has the power to help us change. All we need to do is try.
This is a moving video about not giving up on your marriage.
It is true what I said before, that love is a decision of the heart. Wanting to love is important, but I thought a few "how to's" might be appropriate. Some might say, "but I loved him (or her) and it didn't work out". Maybe I should explain what I mean by love. I try to help him be the best person he can be and achieve what he most wants to do. Mainly I help his business be successful, help him relate to people, and help him build a good marriage. He helps me by handling most of the details (cleaning, finances, shopping), so I can write. He said, "Anyone who can write like you, shouldn't be doing housework." See why I love him!
Was it always so wonderful? No. We both came from broken homes, had never seen a happy marriage, and had no idea how to make one. Our first few years were pretty pathetic, but we were determined to keep working at it. One of the most important things which pulled us through is:
