Changing Our Marriage by Changing Me

I wrote this in about 2010. Our marriage keeps getting better and better each year.

In the early years of our marriage I believed my husband loved me, but I sure didn’t feel very loved–  now I do. What has changed? Is he really very different–  am I? Sure we have shared a lot, but have we really changed all that much? What is different now?

A friend mentioned that she thought I have learned to relate better with my husband. I think she is right. I can remember an instance several years ago. I had packed up some Christmas decorations and placed them in the doorway informing my husband that they were ready to go up to the attic. For the next twenty minutes I watched in mounting frustration as my husband walked around the boxes. Finally I blurted out, “Why aren’t you taking the boxes to the attic!?”

He calmly replied, “You haven’t asked me.”

I thought I had. I thought I had been very clear.

Differences in Marriage

I have been thinking about this talk on the Renaissance of Marriage by President Eyring about how to make a happy marriage. I love this humorous video on having a long happy marriage. It means a lot to me because my husband and I are very different.

My husband is a person who is always engaged doing something, such as his handyman business. He deals with the real world and likes to follow patterns that have worked well in the past. He does things with exactness. He is a quiet thoughtful person and so am I. The big difference is that my thoughts are racing at top speed. I leap from thought to thought. I love to study and think about ideas. I like to see patterns in behavior and help people reach their potential (I'm a natural teacher). I live mainly in the world of thought and future possibilities. So how have a hands-on builder and a head-in-the-clouds philosopher been happily married for 42 years?