How have we managed to be married for 48 years?

In just a few days, we will have been married for 48 years. That is kind of mind boggling! What is even more astounding is that we, two people from dysfunctional families, would still be happily married while some of the marriages we once were in awe of have now broken up. I can remember thinking how I wanted us to be like these couples someday. They seemed so together, and so in love, and I think they were-- then. Why aren't they together now? Why have they dropped out while two people like us are fast approaching our 48 wedding anniversary?

Many of these now divorced couples had supportive family, strong faith, good health and education, and were financially secure, then why did their marriages fail? They certainly had a lot more going for them than we did. 

Changing Our Marriage by Changing Me

I wrote this in about 2010. Our marriage keeps getting better and better each year.

In the early years of our marriage I believed my husband loved me, but I sure didn’t feel very loved–  now I do. What has changed? Is he really very different–  am I? Sure we have shared a lot, but have we really changed all that much? What is different now?

A friend mentioned that she thought I have learned to relate better with my husband. I think she is right. I can remember an instance several years ago. I had packed up some Christmas decorations and placed them in the doorway informing my husband that they were ready to go up to the attic. For the next twenty minutes I watched in mounting frustration as my husband walked around the boxes. Finally I blurted out, “Why aren’t you taking the boxes to the attic!?”

He calmly replied, “You haven’t asked me.”

I thought I had. I thought I had been very clear.

Questions from a Jew about The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

Why have member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints felt the need to convert dead Jews?

When a person is Baptized they are making a commitment to keep the commandments of God. We do not believe that a person can progress and become more like God if they do not make this commitment. 

When vicarious baptisms are done, it has no effect unless the person who is dead receives it. We believe that the freedom to make your own decisions is a foundation of the Gospel. We came to earth to learn from our own experience (mistakes), and this freedom to choose for ourselves will continue after this life here on the earth is over.

We offer this baptismal commitment to our direct ancestors. We want to unite our families all the way back in time. We volunteer our time to do these ordinances, because we value family. The individuals we do vicarious baptisms for can commit to follow the Lord, but they are not baptized into The Church as many sects do.

More Secrets of a Happy Marriage-- Commitment

This is a moving video about not giving up on your marriage.

It is true what I said before, that love is a decision of the heart. Wanting to love is important, but I thought a few "how to's" might be appropriate. Some might say, "but I loved him (or her) and it didn't work out".  Maybe I should explain what I mean by love. I try to help him be the best person he can be and achieve what he most wants to do. Mainly I help his business be successful, help him relate to people, and help him build a good marriage. He helps me by handling most of the details (cleaning, finances, shopping), so I can write. He said, "Anyone who can write like you, shouldn't be doing housework." See why I love him!

Was it always so wonderful? No. We both came from broken homes, had never seen a happy marriage, and had no idea how to make one. Our first few years were pretty pathetic, but we were determined to keep working at it. One of the most important things which pulled us through is: