For Us by Cheryl Merrick

           For Us

He shops, cleans, does laundry,

and pays bills “for us”.

Allowing me the quiet time

I need to study and think,

so I can write “for us”.

Subsequent to re-posting For Us on Cheryl♥Anne’s blog, I read Designed for Covenant Relationships,  a recent Brigham Young University devotional talk which amplifies and clarifies the true principles behind For Us far better than did my poor words.  The author introduces her topic with these significant words:

 “We are deeply relational beings, designed for radical dependence and connection.  Marriage and family life . . . are not just the means to an end.  Familial love and belonging are the end.” 

This brilliant article  is a must-read.   The link is listed at the end of this post.

It’s quite audacious of me to claim that this short, simple poem is Cheryl♥Anne’s greatest, but I know its full meaning, since I’m part of it.  Notice that I said “part”, not “half”; Christ is by far the Major Contributor to this story.  It is Cheryl♥Anne’s greatest poem because it embodies the entire purpose of mortal life and the Gospel plan.  That purpose is unity in marriage - and a few ideas on how it is achieved.

The process started long, long ago when “intelligences” were united with a spirit body, thus becoming a united being.  The process continued when the spirit was united with a physical body and placed in a situation where that man or woman was given the freedom to choose between good and evil, while being subject to the demands and temptations of mortal life.  In other words, will the spirit control the body or not?  Joy in life comes when spirit and body are united to choose the good, which can only happen when we allow Christ to be our leader.

Then, if we are to become like God, another “added upon” event must occur.  A man and a woman must be sealed together eternally by God’s authority on earth.  But, that sealing does not make a man and a woman united.  It only gives them the opportunity to work at becoming such.  Remember Christ’s words: “if ye are not one, ye are not mine”.  

The greatest joy that can come to a man and a woman in mortality is to become one, to be united.  That is the essential message of For Us, not the writing or the laundry, but the unity

What is the Antidote to Bullying?

Recently, I heard a neighbor express her pain about her two adopted black daughters being bullied at their high school. It brought back memories of when one of my daughters was also being mistreated in a high school class. The students threw large, wet, spit-wads at my daughter which left inky splotches on her clothes and caught in her long hair. One time they even unfolded a paper clip and used the sharp end to tear the back of her blouse. 

As a parent, as a mother, it hurts deeply when someone hurts your child. You know the joy this child has brought to your life. You know how special she is, and you sense her amazing potential. You have seen her struggles, and her triumphs. How can you watch as people try to pressure her into accepting that she is worthless? 

Is my daughter black? No, but she is different, and that is all it takes to be bullied. You have to be identifiable. You can have a different color of skin, be

Hearing Him

During this time of pandemic, social unrest, and violence, when many hearts are filled with fear and despair, we need more than ever to "hear Him". We live in a time when news is often more sensationalism and entertainment than non-biased reporting; when factual "eye witness" accounts may be mere fantasy; and when Posts, Tweets, and videos often present half truths, and even lies, which may mislead us. 

Crash Rescue

I just saw an article about a brave young man who rescued a woman and her three children from a burning car. It brought back memories of when our family were the rescuers. 

Many years ago when our children were still at home, we were on our way to our nephew's baptism. Suddenly, a car just ahead of us clipped the back fender of a small car it was passing. We gasped as the rear axle of that car came loose and flipped over our car while the rest of the car did front to back somersaults across five lanes of freeway traffic. Amazingly, no other cars were hit, and none of us collided into each other.

As the car was completing its last flip, a small bundle fell out of the car window, then the car landed on its side on the bundle. All I could think was, "Oh no!, Oh no!" I was so afraid that the car had landed on a baby. 

What I'm Doing to Help with the Pandemic

It feels good to know that I'm doing more to help with the covid-19 pandemic besides just staying in my home. Today when I saw this report on some of the things my church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, is doing to help give supplies to those who need it around the world, it made me feel good.  I realized that I don't have to be one of the people out there on the front lines fighting the pandemic to help. Since I donate to this organization, I am part of all the help that is being given.

Here are some of the things I'm helping with.  People in Utah are making 5 million clinical face masks to donate to health care workers.  Also, many Church facilities which make religious clothing have now shifted to making masks and gowns to give to medical workers. Hygiene supplies, food, medical equipment, and other items have been sent around the world to places where they are needed. 

Is this Pandemic a wake up call?

Right now so many of us are struggling with being restricted to our homes. As a person who feels that the experiences in life are opportunities to learn and grow, I've been wondering what could be learned from this pandemic. 

For a world that felt pretty confident in our abilities to handle anything, it has been humbling to see how quickly the whole world could be brought to its knees by a tiny virus. Many of us have come to realize how much we not only need others to help us, but how much we need a greater power, we need God's power,  to help us survive. 

We have been given an opportunity to take a look at our lives. Are we spending our time, energies, and money on what matters most to us? How does it feel to spend more time with your family? Are you enjoying not rushing around so much, not feeling so pressured? What do you want to change in your life? Answer your wake up call. Take your chance for a new start. 

Being a Dad

https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/2009-04-005-bad-hair-day?category=topics/fathers&lang=eng

I laugh each time I see this video, but it really says a lot about being a dad. It is more than just providing and protecting your family, though that is important. Dads spend their life trying to meet the needs of their family. 
My dad made life fun for us and taught me so many things. He ran for ages beside me helping me learn to ride a bike, and spent hours teaching me to drive his red VW bug. My husband has always been there to help our children and grandchildren. He helped the kids build things in his shop and led the neighborhood kids in basketball and tag football games. My son-in-law has fancy tea parties with his little daughter, and carries her up mountains so she can come on hikes with him. 

I've been in awe as I've witnessed the sacrifice and love which has made mere men into Dads. 

Another Birthday!

https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/2012-07-001-have-i-done-any-good-in-the-world-today?category=mormon-channel-music-videos&lang=eng

My gift to you. You can download the video here. 

In a few days I'll have another birthday. I'm excited to turn 68. I know most people try and hide their age, especially women. I don't. First of all, I so grateful to have made it this far, and second, I don't think anyone would really believe me if I said I was younger.  Let's face it, no older person really looks very young if you come within twenty feet of them.

Mainly, I'm excited about another birthday, because life keeps getting better.  Yes, I have health problems which restrict the things I can do, but I find that I'm happier now than when I was younger.  Though I admit, that I was prettier back then, I worried about everything. I compared myself to other women and saw them as more attractive and talented.  I went into a deep depression if I gained a pound, or hid in shame if I had a blemish. I listed all that others could do and neglected my own unique abilities. I worried if I was being a good wife, mother and homemaker. I worried constantly over my children's health, safety, and happiness. I made a long list of other women's strengths and expected myself to perform up to those standards, and I always felt that I was not measuring up to society's expectations. In other words, I sucked the joy out of life.

Advantages of Getting Older

https://www.lds.org/media-library/images/mormon-channel-daily-quotes-meme-april-faith-1943084?lang=eng

Yes, there really are advantages to getting older. 

• I've lived long enough to see consequences of actions. Things that seemed to be bad at the moment have turned out to be good in the long run. For example, my poor health has helped my husband become very loving and supportive.

• I've learned whose advice I can follow. I've come to respect my husband's advice. I saw the counsel of the leaders of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints come true. They counseled for years to get out of debt, live within your means, avoid Home Equity Loans, and store food and necessities. Those that followed this advice were all right when the "Down-Turn" came. 

• I've learned not to worry if children do immature things. They are learning. Have faith in them. Give them time, love, a good example, good principles, lots of encouragement, and trust God to make up the difference. Children usually become great adults because of, and in spite of, our efforts as parents.

How Do You Find Happiness?

https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/2011-06-01-we-can-find-happiness?lang=eng

I'm always surprised when people give me sympathy. By this time you wouldn't think that I would be surprised since I've been ill for over 45 years. When I tell them that I can't eat wheat or dairy, must avoid petrochemicals (plastics, perfumes, polyester etc. . . . ), and often have little energy, their eyes grow round, then they blurt out that "They couldn't live that way!" They actually seem to have a hard time believing that I could really be happy.

A Woman's Lifeline

A friend sent me this and I identified with every age (except the last!). I was prettier when I was younger, but I enjoy life so much more now!

A Woman's Lifeline 

Age 3: She looks at herself and sees a queen.

Age 8: She looks at herself and sees Cinderella.

Age 15: She looks at herself and sees an ugly duckling (Mom I can't go to school looking like this today!)

Age 20: She looks at herself and sees "too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly" but decides she's going out anyway.

Quotes I like about Priesthood

From the Young Women leaders of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. https://www.lds.org/blog/how-to-help-young-women-see-their-value-in-the-church?cid=HP_WE_25-10-2017_dOCS_fBLOG_xLIDyL2_

                                           Sister Marriott: We’ve 

heard it, but it’s hard to get it into our minds, to make that shift that the priesthood is not the men of the Church. Priesthood is the power of God, and we all work with that power—not necessarily with keys or even with duties described in the scriptures, but we all have this power as we fulfill our covenant responsibilities.

Priesthood, Leadership, and Service

https://www.lds.org/media-library/images/category/new-testament-gospel-art-book?lang=eng

I have often wondered why people seem so upset that women do not "hold" the Priesthood. They seem to view the men's Priesthood responsibilities as the men having all power and dictating their will to submissive women. (I think it is rather funny to think women would go along with that!) What must be remembered is that God's power can only be used if a person is righteous, and His power can only be used to serve others.  

This is one of the last lessons that the Savior taught his disciples. Listen to the Savior's response when the mother of James and John, two of his disciples, came to him and asked if her sons could sit on the Savior's right and left in His kingdom (have positions of honor). 

How is The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints Organized?

How is the Church Organized? https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/topics/priesthood?lang=eng

I like how this video explains how the organization of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the same now as it was when Jesus Christ set up His church when He lived upon the earth. All Church organization is to support and help families.

A Woman Member's Thoughts on Priesthood and Personality

I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. One day I was doing some writing on my Perspectives on Personality blog about how Thinker types (logic, task oriented, 3/4 of men) can better relate with Feeler types (value, people oriented, 3/4 of women). I was giving suggestions to Thinker types on how to relate more personally to Feeler types, when the thought came to my mind that what would help the most was if the Thinker gave service to the Feeler.  Suddenly, I realized that this is part of why men are given Priesthood assignments -- it is help them learn to serve and love. For women, we naturally see a need and meet it. We don't need as much structure to reach out to others. That is just how we are.

I can see how assigning men to watch over others helps them focus on the needs of the people they are responsible for, whether it is in his family, or in his ward (local church group).

Do Men Have a "Right" from God to Subjugate Women?

https://www.lds.org/media-library/images/category/teachings-bible-images?lang=eng&start=1&end=40&order= love this picture of Christ leading by serving

A Jewish friend commented on my last post about the place of women in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. 

"As far as the place of women in religious life, I know of no religion that doesn't have a bunch of excuses about why women are not allowed into the priesthood, etc.  Religion has an age old history of being male dominated."  She also explains how women are kept out of important positions in their Jewish Temple. 

This is my reply to her.

It truly is scary some of the things people do and then try and excuse their behavior by saying it is "religious". Men have often claimed a "right" from God to subjugate women. I believe that they will be held accountable for their unrighteous actions.

What Do I Think of the New First Presidency?

https://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/president-nelson-press-conference-recap?cid=HP_TU_16-1-2018_dPAD_fMNWS_xLIDyL1-A_

I think the new leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are great men, and I look forward to their inspired leadership. Sure, some might dismiss my statement, claiming that I am just one of those "brainwashed Mormons", but I don't make this statement lightly. 

In 1985, my dad, asked me, "Your Church's General leaders are men who have retired, right?" I replied that most were at the peak of their very successful careers when they gave up their careers to serve as an Apostle of the Lord. I remember that I used President Nelson and President Oaks as examples. This is why I did.

President Russell M. Nelson, who has just become our new prophet, was an internationally distinguished heart surgeon and researcher, and at the peak of his career when he gave up his practice to become an Apostle of the Lord. He had helped to develop the first artificial heart-lung machine which made open heart surgery possible and in 1955 performed the first open heart surgery in Utah. President Nelson certainly didn't agree to accept the responsibility of becoming an Apostle because he thought he would get more acclaim or money. He already had those things and was certainly making far more money than the modest amount he would make as a General Authority of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. 

How are Members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints Trying to Make the World Better?

https://www.ldscharities.org/videos/haiti-raising-chickens

 A friend of mine commented that though members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are providing good emergency help, that is not enough to really solve the problems the people are experiencing. She gave the Caribbean area as an example. This is my response to her:

I agree that the Caribbean area is a shambles and it has been for a long, long time. The hurricanes have just made it worse. Yes, it is necessary to give emergency aide, but that is just a temporary band-aid approach. You need to do things that make long term changes in  peoples lives and hearts. Around the world, members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints provide immunizations, wheelchairs, eyeglasses, educational loans, loans and training for small home businesses, dig wells and build houses, demonstrate how to grow crops, give sanitation and nutrition education, health and disease training, provide elementary and secondary schools in Mexico and the Pacific Islands and assistance for higher education, give self-reliance training (managing finances, preserving food, job training), maternal and newborn care, refugee help, job training, provide employment centers which not only help to find jobs but help in learning how to write resumes and interview, communication skills, education on family relationships and problem solving, teach English, family counseling, and more.

Serving Children

When I started volunteering at our local elementary school, I was just trying to give myself something meaningful to do as my last child set off on his own, but soon my service became more than just an attempt to fill an empty nest. As the year progressed, my health quickly deteriorated. Spending the day with a class of energetic eight-year-olds certainly helped divert my attention from a nearly overwhelming sense of anxiety and from the exhaustion I felt due to not being able to sleep well. I also had to deal with considerable pain, and the knowledge that the doctors were not only unable to discover what was the matter, but could not give me any help or hope. Under these stressful circumstances, I found the warm, supportive atmosphere in the classroom very comforting.

Though I received a lot of emotional strength from being at the school, I came home completely exhausted. My husband understood how important this service was to me. He knew that I had an elementary teaching credential, but had given up a career in teaching to raise our four children. He also knew that I had dreamed of having a class of my own when our children were raised, and that this volunteering might be as close as I would ever come to realizing that dream. Because he understood, he said, “A teacher has to teach”, and he cheerfully got our dinner and helped keep up the house.

My Remarkable Life

“No matter our age, circumstances, or abilities, each one of us can create something remarkable of his life,” Elder Wirthlin declared during April 2006 General Conference. Even me? Mentally I began to list my considerable health problems and all the limits they imposed, then I stopped — Even Me!
Slowly, I began to realize that I was allowing my health restrictions to imprison my soul. Where was my joy in living?

As I prayed for help in living a more meaningful life, I felt strongly that I needed to simplify my life by removing all unnecessary things and activities. This certainly didn’t seem to me to be the way to an abundant life!

I asked the Lord for faith, then, resignedly, began to eliminate non-essentials. Despairing, I could only see a bleak, barren existence stretching out before me. Maybe I needed to learn patience and endurance. It seemed so obvious to me that having better health and being able to do more would bring me happiness.