Hearing Him

During this time of pandemic, social unrest, and violence, when many hearts are filled with fear and despair, we need more than ever to "hear Him". We live in a time when news is often more sensationalism and entertainment than non-biased reporting; when factual "eye witness" accounts may be mere fantasy; and when Posts, Tweets, and videos often present half truths, and even lies, which may mislead us. 

Help for Living in a Pandemic

Like most everyone, my thoughts have been focused on the current covid-19 pandemic. The Savior has warned us that there would be plagues in the last days, and our leaders have counseled us to store food, water, medicines, sanitation supplies, and to have savings and cash on hand to help us deal with emergency situations. Wouldn't it have been great if we all had done this? People could have calmly remained in their homes instead of panicky rushing to stores to grab and hoard all they could find on the fast emptying shelves.   (for helpful ideas go to  https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/callings/church-safety-and-health/pandemic-planning?lang=eng

But more than being prepared with things, I've wondered how to prepare myself to have the strength to deal with not only the physical danger, but the economic repercussions of this pandemic. As I've spent the last two days listening to inspired men and women give their counsel, these thoughts have impressed me: 

How does God answer prayers?

After watching this video last night, I've been thinking about how we need to learn how to hear God's answers to our prayers. When I was young, I used to expect some voice to just tell me what to do, or magically all my problems would just be solved without any effort on my part. When that didn't happen, I thought my prayers weren't being answered, but I was wrong. It took decades of painful struggling for me to finally recognize all the personal help the Lord had, and was, giving me.

Courage

This video showing women with courage, strengthened me and helped me face eye surgery. https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/2013-03-004-courage?lang=eng

Facing surgery, I prayed for courage. For most people these surgeries would be only a minor inconvenience, but not for me. My adrenal glands had failed. For 15 years, I was completely dependent on adrenal medication to keep me alive. For the last two years, I no longer needed medicine, but how healed was I? Could my body handle the stress of surgery? Was my immune system strong enough to deal with all the medicines that would be used? Over and over in the past, I had passed out after just a whiff of a chemical. What would happen to me when I had surgery?

As I prayed and was given a Priesthood blessing (https://www.lds.org/topics/priesthood-blessing?lang=eng), I was assured that all would be well; and it was.

I have always felt inspired by the courage of Queen Esther ever since my husband read the story to our family. Here is a video which shows more of Esther's story. https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/2011-03-30-for-such-a-time-as-this?lang=eng

You can read the rest of the story here. https://www.lds.org/scriptures/ot/esth?lang=eng

I love the justice of the ending.

Faith in Future Blessings

I have always loved the story of Joseph being sold into Egypt. Even after his older brothers sell him into Egypt, he doesn't become bitter. He keeps trying to do his best and never loses faith in his Heavenly Father. Eventually, he becomes a ruler in Egypt, second only to the Pharaoh, forgives his brothers, and saves his entire family from starvation. (This picture shows Jacob, Joseph's father, before he dies blessing Joseph while his brothers watch.) Even though he was sold into slavery and thrown into a dungeon, he did not give up hope. In time, the Lord turned all the seeming detours into great blessings. 

I could not see the future blessings when we moved last May, and had to leave all our children and grandchildren. I couldn't see that our move would really be the answer to my deepest prayers. We especially wanted to help our youngest daughter with their baby, but we felt it was right to move, so we did. Now, instead of having to drive an hour battling the congested big city freeway traffic, sometimes icy roads, and pollution to visit them, they will be living just five minutes away from us. The Lord surely moves in mysterious ways. We never expected that they would move here, or that our prayers would be answered in this way. I could never have foreseen that moving four hours away would result in the opportunity to live close by each other and give the support we wanted, and they needed. I'm learning more and more to be like Joseph and trust the Lord's far greater wisdom. 

Blessings in Disguise

https://www.lds.org/media-library/images/category/trials-and-adversity-mormonads?lang=eng

I like this poster. Our adversity, is often just blessing in disguise. 

Looking back, I can see that my life has been filled with many blessings in disguise. Of course they didn't seem like "blessings" at all when I was experiencing them. How could I have known that having poor health with lots of allergies was really an opportunity to break with some dysfunctional family traditions, would help me learn to be more assertive and compassionate, strengthen my marriage, help me spend more time with my children and help them become more capable adults, and give me many opportunities for service.

This last year there have been many obvious blessing such as knowing we should move to the St George area to help improve my health, and finding a new home there in just four days. Far less obvious was the blessing of being felt alone in our new home for a month to unpack and get settled. I gained a lot of confidence in my abilities. It got me back up on my feet after being bedridden for so many years. During this time there were other blessings. One was that the city asphalted the road in front of our home. Our old neighbors had moved to the St George area a few years before and were now our neighbors again. They took me in for the day which gave me the support I needed at that time. Also, I really smacked my index finger trying to put furniture together which led to my finding a new doctor in the area.

Given More than What I Asked For

https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/2012-01-014-the-will-of-god?category=topics/faith&lang=eng
This is one of my favorite stories. I have experienced a lot of "pruning" in my life.

Most of us consider our prayers answered when we receive what we asked for-- right now. Is that really how prayers are answered? Almost exactly a year ago, I prayed for help to get better. Every medical option and test had been tried, but I was still very ill. As the months passed, my health became worse and worse till I could barely stand and could only get down some pureed baby food. Were my prayers answered? Yes.  Did I immediately receive the miraculous healing I desired? No. Has my health improved since last February? Definitely!

New Year - New Start

https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/2010-12-21-new-years-look-not-behind-thee?lang=eng

Here are some New Yorkers thoughts on beginning a New Year. They talk about the mistake Lot's wife made of looking back instead of moving forward.

This year I too am poised to either move on, or live in the past. Last New Year's day, my life was miserable, but very settled. After desperately praying for help, I felt impressed to go to St George, a town three hours south of where we lived. Surprised, I found myself on my feet, and knew we needed to move there if I wanted better health. We did, and my health has greatly improved.

My question now is, will I look back? Will I allow the fears of returning to poor health hobble my efforts to regain my strength? Will I reach out and make new friendships, or long to return to the comfort of my old community? Will I reach out in love to those around me, or moan that my children live far away? Will I sulk over all I can't do, or share what I can do? Will I sit dejectedly in my home, or be out as much as I can? Will I look to the future with hope and energy, or fear and depression? Will I retreat into the past, or move into the future?

Will this be a good new year? The choice is mine. Though my efforts are feeble, if I allow the Lord to help me, this will be the best year ever!

How can you say you Know it?

https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/2012-01-001-feeling-the-holy-ghost?lang=eng

Did the doctors figure out why I was so ill?  No. I've been to many doctors and had many, many tests. They showed nothing. Everything was low, but not out of the normal range. I was at the point that I was resigned to just working on my computer the rest of my life. Then in April of 2015, I had this strong impression that I should start checking my blood sugar several times a day. It seemed ok. The next day it was a little higher. The next day it went up 80 points after a balanced, low carb, diabetic meal! I felt extremely ill. A thought came to my mind that my hydrocortisone dose for Addison's Disease was too high and that I shouldn't take my last dose that day. I didn't, actually I was afraid to! The next day I cut it another 5mg under my doctor's guidance. Now what? I had no idea, but I did feel that I needed to do research. I wasn't sure what I was to research, so I just began. I looked up blood sugar, diabetes, and hypoglycemia. When I came to Insulin Resistance, I felt that was it! I read more and found that besides cutting my dose of hydrocortisone, I needed to really cut down on carbs for a while (still have good fats), and I needed to exercise at least an hour at a time daily. I tried it and it worked! My blood sugar slowly stabilized, and I began to feel better than I have in ages.

I know that some people might think that it is odd to somehow "know" what to do, but I just did. I am not that brilliant that I could have figured it out myself. That is obvious since I have been ill for over 45 years and never understood. I feel that I have been very blessed and guided by the Lord to know what to do. It has taken me awhile, but I have learned to just follow the impressions I feel, knowing that later I will understand. I carefully listen to the thoughts and feelings which come after I pray. If I feel a calm peaceful feeling and a strong sense of assurance that my proposed action is right, I know it is what I should do.

Falling Out and Falling Back In Love with a Spouse

https://www.mormonchannel.org/watch/series/his-grace/falling-out-of-love-with-a-spouse?cid=HP_FR_23-9-2016_dMC_fMC_xLIDyI-1_

I was very touched by this video. I guess it brought back memories. We just celebrated our 44th wedding anniversary. I can remember when I wondered if we would make it four years. How did we make it? Were we always happy?

I always envisioned people who were happily married after many years as always having a blissful relationship. I've changed my mind. I think they are people who simply didn't give up. They just kept praying and trying. They aren't quitters.

Sure, there were lots of times when we wanted to just run away, when we were discouraged, and didn't feel close. We were also aware enough to know that running away, wouldn't solve our problems. We knew we weren't very happy, but we also knew we wouldn't be happier if we divorced. Of course, there are times when you must leave an abusive relationship, then you should run as far and as fast as you can.  But this isn't what happens in most marriages.

God Answered My Prayers

I could barely walk across the room. The doctors did not have any more suggestions or treatments for me to try.  In desperation, I asked the Lord for help.

In July (2015) I had recovered from Addison's Disease.  After 15 years, I no longer had to take cortisone each day.  I was thrilled!  Then slowly, in the fall I became more, and more, and more tired. By January I was restricted to bed.  What was happening to me? I should have felt great now that my adrenal glands were working again. Why wasn't I?

As I prayed, I felt a strong impression to go to St George, Utah.  That's strange, I hardly knew the place having only driven through it twice.  I reasoned that being in a warmer climate for a few days might help me feel better.  So my husband shoved in into our old van, and we headed south to St George.

Blessings of Chronic Illness

I wrote this about ago and still feel very blessed and know I have learned a lot from my chronic poor health.

In my late teens, I began to take sudden short “naps”. By my early twenties the fatigue had become more severe and was joined by migraines, muscle cramping, general pain, nausea, dizziness, blurry vision, abdominal pain, confusion and depression. I wondered if the Lord really cared about me. We began to seek help from doctors, only to have the specialists declare that I was fine, advising me to go home and “relax”. At this point, I began to strongly feel the presence of the Lord in my life. I felt a peaceful assurance that something really was physically the matter with me, but it would not prevent me from doing what I needed to do in this life.

Looking back, I can see how the Lord used my illness to help build my faith in His love. As my illness continued, I came to know that the Lord cares about me personally. He will allow me to have the experiences I need to grow. Through my restrictions, I learned to base my self-esteem on being a daughter of God, instead of on how well I pleased others. Besides this spiritual help, I felt the Lord’s direct guidance in  dealing with my illness. I especially needed His help when the doctors were baffled. I found it a great comfort to know that there is someone who completely understands my problems and can help me.

Grandma and Grandpa's Testimony

I wrote this several years ago for our grandchildren.

I believe that there is a God and that He truly is our Heavenly Father, the father of our spirits, and as our father, He wants us to grow and be happy. Our purpose for being here on earth is to learn to choose good over evil -- to learn and become more like our Heavenly Father. With His help we can progress and return and live with Him someday where we can enjoy eternal family relationships.

I know there is a God because I have experienced His help in my life. I feel that He loves us more than we are capable of understanding. I know he loves me for I have felt His presence supporting me in my most desperate moments.

 I know there is a God because He answers my prayers. I have received so much help in my life as I have been married and raised our four children. The Lord has helped me to endure the many years I have had to spend ill and restricted to my home. He gave me the strength to endure the pain and frustrations. I believe He helped to us finally find out what was the problem and am grateful for the inspiration He has given me to help me know what to do to deal with a very rare and serious health problem. Without His help, I doubt that I'd still be here.

I have seen His guidance and help in my life. Jobs have worked out at the right time for our family. We found the right home for us. Opportunities have suddenly appeared, and we have been warned of dangers such as there being an icy spot on the road we had to travel. Everyday I see and experience God's love for me.

I Know There Is a God

I believe that there is a God and that He truly is our Heavenly Father, the father of our spirits, and as our father, He wants us to grow and be happy. Our purpose for being here on earth is to learn to choose good over evil -- to learn and become more like our Heavenly Father. With His help we can progress and return and live with Him someday where we can enjoy eternal family relationships.

I know there is a God because I have experienced His help in my life. I feel that He loves us more than we are capable of understanding. I know he loves me for I have felt His presence supporting me in my most desperate moments.

 I know there is a God because He answers my prayers. I have received so much help in my life as I have been married and raised our four children. The Lord has helped me to endure the many years I have had to spend ill and restricted to my home. He gave me the strength to endure the pain and frustrations. I believe He helped to us finally find out what was the problem and am grateful for the inspiration He has given me to help me know what to do to deal with a very rare and serious health problem. Without His help, I doubt that I'd still be here.

I have seen His guidance and help in my life. Jobs have worked out at the right time for our family. We found the right home for us. Opportunities have suddenly appeared, and we have been warned of dangers such as there being an icy spot on the road we had to travel. Everyday I see and experience God's love for me.

Do I, as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Believe in Traditional Religion?

A friend expressed to me how she could not believe in traditional religion, recounting Christianity's history of voting on doctrine, political maneuvering, conquest (Crusades), and cruelty (Inquisition). She also stated that though she did believe in God, she could not believe that one person's ideas about religion were better than another person's ideas. I agree completely with her.

What!? You are a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. How could you not believe in traditional religion? Aren't you the most traditional, conservative religion around? 

We do believe in truth and do not give in when we know something is right, but our faith is not based on tradition. Throughout time there have been many good people who have set up religions based on what they believed was right. I think some have done a lot of good, but by the time I was eleven I knew that was not enough for me. I didn't want to choose between the many philosophies of men one that I liked the best and join that church. What I was looking for was revelation of truth from God.

God Helping Me Find the Right Place to Live

   

This man came to know God.                                                                        

Stepfather Knowing Where I Should Live While Student Teaching
I wrote about receiving the Lord's help through prayer and decided to share some things I have written about times when the Lord has helped me in my life.

When I was to student teach during my senior year at BYU, I had to find a place to live in Bountiful, Utah. Living in the community as a professional teacher was a bit overwhelming. I longed for the security of college life and a house full of roommates, so I was very grateful when my mom and  step-father offered to stop in Bountiful on our way to Pocatello, Idaho to visit my grandparents.
On a warm late August morning in 1971 we began checking out possible places for me to stay.

Does God Answer Prayers?

This is one of my favorite stories. I have thought of it many times especially when I have been trying to do something I wanted to do, only to have my health fail and not be able to do it. At last, I'm finally enjoying being a productive bush instead of a gangly tree.

A friend said that she had a personal relationship with God and that she prayed to Him. She also said, "He doesn't answer, but I hope He is listening!"  I know He does listen and answers our prayers. We are the ones who need to learn how to listen. We need to learn how to recognize His answers. Rarely does God get our attention by causing bushes to burn, or by sending a bright light and speak to us in a clear voice as He did to Paul. How can we know His answers?

Recognizing Answers to Prayer

This talk explains how to receive answers to our prayers. I have learned a lot from it. We have to do our part if we expect the Lord to help us.

www.lds.org/general-conference/1989/10/learning-to-recognize-answers-to-prayer?lang=eng#watch=video

Roommates Teaching me about "Family Prayer"

My first experience with “family prayer” wasn’t with my family, but with college roommates. I had joined the Church when I first started college, then for my junior and senior years I transferred from my California junior college to BYU (Brigham Young University). A couple of girls from our Institute invited me to live with them.