I wrote this about 2010 for our local Church newsletter.
“God won’t let me be ill. He loves me and has the power to heal, so I’ll be well soon.” As the days turned into months, I added a bargaining approach to my pleas, “If the Lord will restore my health, then I will be such a diligent servant.” Slowly, my hope of making a deal which the Lord couldn’t resist, faded. My convert naivety gave way to a more mature realization that Heavenly Father, instead of merely catering to my wishes for ease, loves me enough to give me what is best for me.
I began to wonder what I was to learn from this experience. I optimistically hoped to learn the lesson quickly, then move onto something more fun. When the months became years, I finally began to accept that the Lord knew what experiences I needed to encourage me to grow. As this sense of purpose in life developed, I no longer felt frustrated. At last, I could look at problems as opportunities, even as exciting challenges, like solving a tough puzzle.
Showing posts with label illness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label illness. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 5, 2016
Blessings of Chronic Illness
I wrote this about ago and still feel very blessed and know I have learned a lot from my chronic poor health.
In my late teens, I began to take sudden short “naps”. By my early twenties the fatigue had become more severe and was joined by migraines, muscle cramping, general pain, nausea, dizziness, blurry vision, abdominal pain, confusion and depression. I wondered if the Lord really cared about me. We began to seek help from doctors, only to have the specialists declare that I was fine, advising me to go home and “relax”. At this point, I began to strongly feel the presence of the Lord in my life. I felt a peaceful assurance that something really was physically the matter with me, but it would not prevent me from doing what I needed to do in this life.
Looking back, I can see how the Lord used my illness to help build my faith in His love. As my illness continued, I came to know that the Lord cares about me personally. He will allow me to have the experiences I need to grow. Through my restrictions, I learned to base my self-esteem on being a daughter of God, instead of on how well I pleased others. Besides this spiritual help, I felt the Lord’s direct guidance in dealing with my illness. I especially needed His help when the doctors were baffled. I found it a great comfort to know that there is someone who completely understands my problems and can help me.
In my late teens, I began to take sudden short “naps”. By my early twenties the fatigue had become more severe and was joined by migraines, muscle cramping, general pain, nausea, dizziness, blurry vision, abdominal pain, confusion and depression. I wondered if the Lord really cared about me. We began to seek help from doctors, only to have the specialists declare that I was fine, advising me to go home and “relax”. At this point, I began to strongly feel the presence of the Lord in my life. I felt a peaceful assurance that something really was physically the matter with me, but it would not prevent me from doing what I needed to do in this life.
Looking back, I can see how the Lord used my illness to help build my faith in His love. As my illness continued, I came to know that the Lord cares about me personally. He will allow me to have the experiences I need to grow. Through my restrictions, I learned to base my self-esteem on being a daughter of God, instead of on how well I pleased others. Besides this spiritual help, I felt the Lord’s direct guidance in dealing with my illness. I especially needed His help when the doctors were baffled. I found it a great comfort to know that there is someone who completely understands my problems and can help me.
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