Yesterday, I went outside for a few moments. When I came inside, I felt a tickle by my throat and a buzzing. Thinking it was a fly, I tried to bush it away. A few moments later, I saw a bee on the window. I was stunned. I had just brushed away a bee and it had not gone down my clothes or stung me. I felt very blessed for I an extremely allergic to bees. If it had stung me, I could have ended up in the hospital and it could have delayed my surgery. I have been struggling with anxiety for days and now I felt a reassurance that the Lord was watching over me and all would be well with my surgery.
I was having trouble last week. (Photo - me hitting "staring" or "coast" mode.) Each day, I was getting more and more tired. By Friday, I could barely move. Mounds of clean laundry sat around the house where I had left them. Too tired to put clothes away, cook, or round up the "dust bunnies", I tried to understand what was happening to me. Yes, this "running out of energy" had happened to me many times, and I only seemed to recover after long months of rest. Desperate to be able to move again, I tried to figure out what was happening to me, but I couldn't understand why I was so tired. Resting and eating weren't making any difference. I didn't want to just sit there waiting for my body to somehow heal. There had to be something I could do, but what? Obviously, my "little mind" was not up to solving this problem, so I asked someone who has all the answers and loves me, I prayed.
I watched this video several times. It gives a lot to think about. Besides finding answers when I read scriptures and prayer, I like to wake up slowly in the morning and listen in my mind and heart. At this quiet time of day before my mind is absorbed on daily tasks is a time when thoughts come to my mind that I know are answers from God to me.
Sometimes, I'll just have a feeling that I should do something, or that I shouldn't do it. Sometimes I just know something. It might be that a person needs me to send them an email right then. Other times, I might just know what I should say to a grandchild, or I'll have an impression to write on my blog. I feel this flash of knowledge is a special gift to me. It affirms God's love for me.
At other times, God sends books to me. I used to find a book just sitting out on a library shelf that was exactly what I needed to learn at that time. In these days of hightec, the book I need is suggested to me online. I just know that I need to read that book, and when I do, there is the answer I was looking for. This is a special way that I receive revelation. It makes me feel that God really knows me personally and understands how I learn.
It is so comforting to know that God is close by. He is there to help, guide, and comfort. He gives me strength, and fills my heart with love and peace.
Facing surgery, I prayed for courage. For most people these surgeries would be only a minor inconvenience, but not for me. My adrenal glands had failed. For 15 years, I was completely dependent on adrenal medication to keep me alive. For the last two years, I no longer needed medicine, but how healed was I? Could my body handle the stress of surgery? Was my immune system strong enough to deal with all the medicines that would be used? Over and over in the past, I had passed out after just a whiff of a chemical. What would happen to me when I had surgery?
I have always loved the story of Joseph being sold into Egypt. Even after his older brothers sell him into Egypt, he doesn't become bitter. He keeps trying to do his best and never loses faith in his Heavenly Father. Eventually, he becomes a ruler in Egypt, second only to the Pharaoh, forgives his brothers, and saves his entire family from starvation. (This picture shows Jacob, Joseph's father, before he dies blessing Joseph while his brothers watch.) Even though he was sold into slavery and thrown into a dungeon, he did not give up hope. In time, the Lord turned all the seeming detours into great blessings.
I could not see the future blessings when we moved last May, and had to leave all our children and grandchildren. I couldn't see that our move would really be the answer to my deepest prayers. We especially wanted to help our youngest daughter with their baby, but we felt it was right to move, so we did. Now, instead of having to drive an hour battling the congested big city freeway traffic, sometimes icy roads, and pollution to visit them, they will be living just five minutes away from us. The Lord surely moves in mysterious ways. We never expected that they would move here, or that our prayers would be answered in this way. I could never have foreseen that moving four hours away would result in the opportunity to live close by each other and give the support we wanted, and they needed. I'm learning more and more to be like Joseph and trust the Lord's far greater wisdom.
Most of us consider our prayers answered when we receive what we asked for-- right now. Is that really how prayers are answered? Almost exactly a year ago, I prayed for help to get better. Every medical option and test had been tried, but I was still very ill. As the months passed, my health became worse and worse till I could barely stand and could only get down some pureed baby food. Were my prayers answered? Yes. Did I immediately receive the miraculous healing I desired? No. Has my health improved since last February? Definitely!
