As a parent, as a mother, it hurts deeply when someone hurts your child. You know the joy this child has brought to your life. You know how special she is, and you sense her amazing potential. You have seen her struggles, and her triumphs. How can you watch as people try to pressure her into accepting that she is worthless?
Is my daughter black? No, but she is different, and that is all it takes to be bullied. You have to be identifiable. You can have a different color of skin, be
from another country or culture, have a physical or mental disability, be intellectually gifted (an "egghead" or "geek"), not be gifted in sports ("a klutz"), not have a good education, clothes, or home, be a creative person (a "weirdo" or "strange"), be a strongly built girl or a small boned boy, you can be an athletic female or a sensitive male, you can be shorter than average or taller, you can be "too young" or "too old", or anything else that makes you "stand out".You only have to be noticeable in the crowd you are in to be bullied. Sadly, bullying happens all around the world. In Asia where most people have small nose bridges, some people make fun of Europeans, because they have "large" noses. In Africa where most people have "black" skin, people with "white" skin have become targets of assault. In Europe some people "look down" on you and "shun" you if you do not speak their language fluently. Around the world "outsiders" are often feared and avoided.
To be mistreated by others, you also need to be alone. Those that attack others either have a group to "back " them, or they do their destructive acts "anonymously". The problem is that the pain they inflict on their victims is not anonymous. The pain is very, very real. It can crush a tender spirit, and it can last a lifetime.
So how did my daughter stand out? She was put into a class with other people who were also struggling with math, but she was not like the others. She was sensitive, loving, and wanted to learn. She was an upbeat "sweetheart" among a room of "drugies" who resented her. She was not "one of them" and they wanted her out of the class -- we agreed!
But is bullying just a teen thing? No. Is it something only the uneducated and financially desperate do? Actually, many times it is the poor with little who are willing to accept and help others, while those who have much belong to "exclusive" clubs and keep building larger houses to hold all their possessions.
Why do some people try and shut out or belittle those who are different? Why do they pathetically attempt to make themselves feel more important by tearing down another's esteem? Why can't they see that knocking another down, so you can somehow appear "bigger" as you stand upon their injured body, only shrinks your soul and makes you "smaller" than ever?
Our Savior gave us the answers of how to live a fulfilling life. He set an example for us and taught us how to overcome fear and build our self esteem. It is the great paradox. As the Lord explained: "For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will his life for my sake shall it." (Matthew 16:25) By destroying, by hurting, we cannot build our self-esteem. Only when we are willing to give, to lose ourselves in service to others, to " thy neighbour as thyself." (Matthew 22: 39) will we build the talents and character that will enable us to feel good about ourselves. As the Apostle John tells us: 18 There is no in ; but perfect casteth out fear: Only when we love God and others can we truly be free from fear. We cannot grab or steal happiness from others. It simply comes as we forget ourselves and get lost in helping others. This is the great secret of happiness.
I loved this video. It shows the difference love can make.
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