What is helping me make it through cancer

I have been thinking about what is helping me the most to make it through dealing with cancer. Of course my faith has to come first. I simply couldn't do this at all without the Lord helping me. Also, there is all the love and support I am receiving from my husband, and family and friends. I feel their prayers holding me up. These are all wonderful blessings and essential to my life and fight with cancer, but there is also something else which is helping me. This is what I have been thinking of this morning. It is having a positive attitude.

I confess that it does take some effort to think positively when going through cancer treatments, but it is making it much easier for me. I feel a sense of hope, power, and energy as I think positively. This sense of power seems to come from being closer to God and from not feeling like a victim. I don't need to have the Lord give me ease to know that He loves me, or succumb to helplessness if I'm not given what I want when I want it. Though I didn't choose to have cancer (who would!), I am not merely a victim in life, for I can still choose how I respond to it. 

How I choose to respond is positively. For example, as I react allergically, once again, to my chemo medication, I feel grateful for I see the Lord helping me to make it through chemo one more time. I do not see my having cancer as "tragic", "terrible", or a sign that God does not love me, but that I'm instead very loved and am being given an opportunity not only to build faith in God, but to be on the "fast track" for character and compassion development. 

This week as I am feeling the effects of my 4th chemo, it has been a little bit of challenge. I could see by the fatigue I was feeling that my anemia was increasing and I was going to have to give up my walks and helping with some of the housework. Also, some of my little bit of remaining hair began to fall out. I love going for walks and of course I would love to have hair. I  could feel depression creeping toward me, then I prayed and looked at the situation again.  Both the anemia and hair loss are manifestations of the effectiveness of the chemo treatments. Also, I made it to two weeks after my 4th chemo before these things happened, so I am doing very well and both ailments will heal when my final two chemo treatments are over.  

So this morning I got up appreciating how well I felt and went on an outing with my husband with a pretty scarf over my head. Sure all I could do was just stand there and gaze at the amazing red mountains, but that was enough. I enjoyed being outside in the sunshine and am happy that I am having a chance to heal from cancer.