One thing I have been learning this last year is not to fear. We can do anything with the Lord's help. I have had to pray for help to have faith and not to fear, and the Lord has helped me. When fear overtakes me, I can't feel the Spirit, then I'm really afraid. As long as I turn to the Lord for help and strength, He has been there to help me. I've even been able to sleep well right before both major surgeries. When I have done all that I can for my health, then I have been able to ask in faith for His help in my life. He is always there to help you.
December 2022
My having cancer has been a blessing to our family, healing many relationships. I've had several health problems all my life and being allowed to return home a little early instead of after a long painful decline is going to be a great kindness to me. I'm feeling very loved. I also feel very blessed that I am being allowed to have better health at this time than I normally experience and am enjoying a special Christmas.
Dec 20, 2022
What I am feeling is that The Lord has been keeping me alive for many, many years, and especially, this last year and a half. Yesterday for a short time, I saw what my health really is. I couldn't walk, keep my eyes open, coughed, achy pain all over, headache, couldn't think, exhausted, chest pains, nauseous, sore throat, itchy. This is a systemic allergic reaction which I have lived with most of my life. There is little left of my immune system and yesterday that was a reaction to just a small thing. The Lord is holding me up and allowing me to have this time of feeling fairly good. I am preparing a lot of temple work and sharing it with the temple. There are things I need to do yet, but I do not know how long it will be, but I know the Lord doesn't just hold you up too long. I think it will be a few months. I don't think I will make it to my birthday. I am being blessed to finally not be having such serious reactions all the time. It is wonderful! I am so grateful to be able to feel what it is like to feel fairly normal. I am being blessed and watched over. I don't want to leave everyone, but I know that I can't stay here being this sick for very long. I've struggled just walking around my home for so many years and have felt so draggy and tired all the time. I've tried to be positive and reach out to others, but I have never felt very well. I usually was in bed for a week after anything I did. Now, I'm being blessed to just be tired for a day after doing something. I do want to remain here with you, but I will be nearby and there to help you all I can from the other side. Thank you for sharing the gospel with me. I could never have made it through all my challenges without the gospel. It has changed my life. I love you.
Thoughts
For Me
by Cheryl Merrick April 2020
He knows me.
He knows my pains.
He is aware of my hidden sorrows.
Knowing that my burdens are
more than I can bear,
He willingly suffered,
so my burdens could be light.
He has paid for all,
making the wrongs right,
and healing my heart.
He is there to help me,
strengthen, and comfort me,
so I never have to face life alone.
Through His love for me,
He has set me free.
He Lives by Cheryl Anne Merrick - April 2015
I have felt Him beside me,
when in desperate exhaustion,
I could go no further.
I have felt His calming presence
in interminable nights
when fear and loneliness
have gripped my soul.
I have known His guidance
when a thought
suddenly bursts upon my mind,
like a flare lighting a dark sky,
showing the path ahead.
His Spirit has filled me
with hope and assurance
when all others have despaired.
I know He lives
for I feel my heart
being warmed
by His Love.
Written November 2022
This last year as I am battling cancer, the words of “Be Still, My Soul” have been a great comfort to me. They remind me not to worry or be afraid because Heavenly Father and our Savior, who have all power, know and love me. They know what is best for me, and will always be there to guide me and strengthen me, so that I can make it through all the challenging times in my life. It reminds me to have patience and faith in the Lord’s plan for me, for someday I will understand all the reasons for my challenges and know that it has all been for my good. This hymn reminds me to remember all the help He has given me in the past, and to have unshakable hope and faith that He will continue to help me in the future. “Be Still, My Soul” comforts me that after He has helped me learn and grow here on this earth, our Savior will heal my sorrows and bring me safely back to my eternal home to live in peace and joy with Him and those I love.
Gazing at Old Photos
by Cheryl Merrick Feb 2021
Seeing my younger self,
I remember when life
stretched endlessly before me
so full of possibilities.
Filled with sparkling optimism,
I faced forward gazing
into the vastness of my future.
Now, fifty years have passed.
With knowing eyes,
I look back at my younger self
and smile.
The years have been good,
but far harder than
I ever could have imagined.
In these years,
full of heartaches and joys,
my faith has been tested,
my talents honed,
and my love has grown.
With hope I still look forward,
but with an awareness that
my time here is no longer "endless",
and wonder what more I can do.
Is there someone I can help?
Are there things I yet need to do?
So many I've known are gone now -
grandparents, uncles and aunts,
cousins, parents, and brothers.
There is an emptiness in my life
that they once filled.
I'll continue longing for them
until I join them on the other side
where eternity will truly
stretch before me
full of sparkling possibilities.
Someday, I’ll meet you there.
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