We made it to our 50th Wedding Anniversary in spite of my having cancer

Our wedding day Aug 23, 1972

I am so grateful that we made it to our 50th wedding anniversary. Last year at this time, it looked doubtful that it would happen. Just a few weeks before, I had been diagnosed with advanced ovarian cancer (stage 3c), the BRCA2 gene mutation, and with a cancer count* of nearly 2000 with 35 being the point where you are considered to have cancer.

Aug 23, 2022

As a woman with a husband who is nearly 75, I had considered that I might become a widow someday, but I had never thought about leaving my husband a widower. I knew it would be so lonely not to have my husband here and how empty it would feel to not be able to share my ideas and experiences with him. I would miss having someone who could make my dreams come true and handle details for me. He has shared his strengths in logic, building, performing details, and managing finances, so that I could have more time to study and write. In turn, I have shared my ability to see the whole picture, pick up feelings, long range plan, and communicate. Together, we have been able to do so much more than either of us could have done separately. We have grown so much with the Lord's and each other's help. 

A man's point of view of being married 49 years

Would you wonder what your husband would say if he was asked why he is still married to you? This happened to us recently. I mentioned to a few people that it was our 49th wedding anniversary. Of course they congratulated us, then we were asked for our "secret". I immediately responded that you have to keep trying, have faith in each other, and become united on your goals. This is great advice, but it is my husband's response that still has me thinking. He said, "Take good care of her and she'll take good care of you." Today I asked him to explain what he meant by that. I thought other people might also be interested in what he said. It wasn't at all like all the hype you hear through the media pressuring women to tuck, fill, and lift to "keep your man". 

Marriage - Still working at it!

As a new year begins, I'm thinking about our 46 years of marriage. I can't help smiling as I remember all the times that a woman has said to me, "You are such a cute couple!", or "I wish my marriage was like yours.", or "I wish my husband was like yours." My reply? "We're working at it." I always sense that they are surprised. They seem to think that we have arrived at some point of perfection, or that I somehow managed to find a "perfect" man who is always attentive and sensitive to my needs.

When I was first married, I heard older women who had good marriages state that they had trained their husband well. I thought you train dogs, but you certainly don't "train" a husband!  I've changed my mind. I do think, though, that "teach" might be a better word.