Thoughts a Few Days Before my Double Mastectomy

I feel a bit like I have been getting ready for a safari. I've had to get supplies together, study the route, and make a plan to meet the challenges. I know it will be exhausting, uncomfortable, painful, and even dangerous, but it will also be worth it. I trust my guide, and have a strong companion to go with me. All is nearly ready to begin. 

Yes, I'm physically prepared. I have discussed the possible problems with my surgeon. My home is clean, food is stocked up and meals cooked. Also, I  have old comedy videos to help divert me afterward from the trauma my body is experiencing. I have also been spiritually preparing through daily reading of the scriptures, praying, and listening to General Conference talks. 

I have felt impressed that I need to have this preventative double mastectomy at this time while I still have the physical strength to deal with the surgery and while I will not have to endure radiation and/or chemo cancer treatments afterwards. This has been a very difficult decision to make, especially since I had to have a hysterectomy just nine months ago. But, knowing that I have the BRCA2 gene mutation which makes it so I have an 80% chance of developing breast cancer in the future, it is the best decision for me. I am hoping that it will give me several more years to live than I would have otherwise. 

I am also hoping that it will give me more freedom. I will not have to always be having tests and worrying if I have breast cancer, or if I will be able to survive the cancer treatments. (Since I went into anaphylactic shock three times before with the chemo for stage 3c ovarian cancer, I'm not a good candidate for more chemo treatments.) 

As I have been preparing for this surgery, I have been blessed to learn more about my many unusual reactions and how to more quickly recover from them. Some people simply have very reactive immune systems. I happen to be one of them. Therefore I will, as usual, react to the medications used during the surgery. This will make my experience far more difficult, but I do not have to do it alone. I am comforted that I will have the companionship and protection of my loving husband of nearly 50 years.  Most importantly, I know I have a guide who I can trust completely, the Lord.  I know He will help me make it safely through my "dangerous jungle" as He has so many times before.