Now that my ovarian cancer chemo treatments are beginning to be effective, I can see how much having cancer has improved my life and helped me be happier. I needed this opportunity to reevaluate my life and make changes in how I was living.
I had been aware that I wasn't doing something right. I simply wasn't as happy as I wanted to be, and I felt tired and stressed at the end of each day, but it wasn't until I had cancer that I knew what I needed to change.
Mainly, I realized that I really wasn't being me. I was spending my time and energy doing things that I felt I "should" do instead of developing and sharing the things I do best. As a creative person, I love to write, create art, design, learn, research, plan, and come up with solutions to problems. I also care deeply about people and love to give them encouragement. In spite of knowing who I really am, I was spending most of my day doing routine details -- cut those carrots and fold those clothes.
By the time I found out I had cancer, it was well advanced, and I was very ill. My abdomen was painfully swollen, and I was exhausted. It didn't take me long to realize that I had to change my life if I wanted to keep living. I simply couldn't handle any extra stress. Suppressing my creative abilities was not only stressing me, but it was suppressing my drive to live which I had to have to help me face cancer. Changes had to be made quickly.
My retired husband had always been willing to help with the housework and had been doing parts of it for many years. Now, he agreed to take over the housekeeping, allowed me to relax, rest, and focus my energies on healing from cancer. It also helped me experience how much happier I am being creative than doing routine work.
This change has also helped our marriage. Having cancer is helping me to not only accept that I have limited endurance for routine details, but it is also encouraging me to accept and live within my physical limitations. Having four spinal injuries plus a multitude of allergies and chemical sensitivities makes some things difficult for me to do, such as cutting up veggies, reaching up, cleaning, and lifting things. Having cancer is encouraging me to accept my limitations and live within them; consequently, I am less tired, more relaxed, and more creative. Having cancer is helping me change my lifestyle so I can have more energy and less pain, and it has definitely helped me have a happier marriage because I'm now a happier person.
(one of my watercolors paintings)
I am enjoying your thought provoking comments. Makes me think what I can do and change in my life.
ReplyDeleteMuch Love to you with my admiration also. Jeana
From sister of Jeana: I especially like what you said about continuing your artistic hobbies. I do believe it is important to use them as a stress reduction tool. Thank you for your insight.—Annette
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