I am much more tired than I was last week. I can stand long enough to brush my teeth then I must sit down due to the pain from the pressure on my abdominal, back, and leg nerves from the ascites swelling (liver is failing and not filtering toxins out as it should). I can walk to the other end of the house, but may need to rest a while before I can come back. I can dress myself and am sleeping pretty well on my back with my knees up. I can eat, but only small amounts at a time and before 2 pm so I can avoid major heartburn. I don't have any appetite, but am able to get down my normal healthy foods. It really helps that my husband prepares the food and puts it in front of me. Also, my digestive system still seems to be working pretty well.
Because of the toxins in my body, I forget easily and have little short term memory. This is why my husband manages any medication I need. I am typing with my eyes closed since my eyes are very tired. My pulse is sometimes very high, which probably is caused by the stress of the cancer, my heart murmur, and my genetic defect which causes a loss of normal protein function. Though I'm uncomfortable, the pain is minor. I have been given morphine for when I may need it, so I should be comfortable to the end.
The days pass fairly quickly since I doze so much. I am a bit foggy. Actually, it is rather relaxing. I'm enjoying sitting in the sunshine. I feel very loved. So many people have said and done so many things to help me. I feel very blessed that it is going so easily.
*I painted this picture a few years ago. It reminds me that even in our most "prickly" challenges, there is always beauty and hope.
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