Seeing my Glass as half Full

In the home I was raised in, this glass of water would have been considered half empty. Each event in life was looked at through critical lenses where its imperfections were magnified.  Consequently, life was very disappointing, and, without faith, frightening. 

From the time I was 19 and joined The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I have been trying to change my childhood training into a more positive outlook on life. It has taken a great deal of effort. I have had to consciously look for the good in each situation and in each person.

My resolve has been put to the test as I have had to deal with fifty years of major health problems and with serious family relationship difficulties. On days when the pain seemed unbearable, the frustration overwhelming, or the emotional suffering crushing, I can't say that I met life with cheerful optimism, but I have kept trying. 

As I began to see the opportunities for growth that these challenging situations were giving me, I began to heal. When I quit seeing everything that happened to me as a "punishment", and noticed instead, the kind things that my husband and others were doing to help me, my heart began to heal.

Appreciating the love others were giving me, I began to feel loved. Gradually I came to realize that by allowing me these difficult experiences, God was lovingly giving me the opportunity to heal. I was being given a chance to "reprogram" my old warped ways. My old "truths" could not sustain me. If I was to survive, I had to change. 

I, as many little girls in the 1950's, had been taught to be submissive and that my worth was based on pleasing others. Being bedridden, grouchy, and not even able to use my arms or read, caused a serious crisis with my self identity. Being ill gave me an opportunity to discover my intrinsic worth as a daughter of God and know I was loved for who I was and not for what I could do for others. 

As I continued to look for the good in each situation, I became aware of how much I was being blessed. My challenges were opportunities for me to develop my character and become the person I had always wanted to become. I was learning new things and developing confidence in my ability to deal with life. My heart was softening and becoming less judgmental and far more compassionate.  

Not only has looking for the good, seeing the glass as half full, helped me to grow, but it has enabled me to survive. It has protected me from succumbing to despair and hopelessness. 

As I've appreciated all the opportunities for growth my loving Heavenly Father is allowing me to have and all the love I now see that others show to me each day, I finally feel loved and at peace. I have confidence that God will guide me and strengthen me so that I can grow from my experiences in life. I know that I am not alone. Looking for the good helps me to see life clearly and feel love and hope as my glass is becoming a little more full each day.