For those who are Mourning

I know that there are many who are mourning this holiday season. For some the pain in their heart is sharp and new, and for others, holidays bring a flood of overwhelming memories and a deep longing for those who are no longer with them.

My family is also grieving this holiday season for the loss of my brother-in-law who died just before Christmas. Though we all knew that he had been suffering a great deal for twenty years as he bravely fought cancer, we are all deeply feeling his loss. 

When my brother-in-law entered the hospital this time, some of us knew that his time here on the earth was almost at an end. We felt that he would not be released from the hospital, but from life.  We also knew that all would be well.

My husband and I prayed that all would go as easily as possible, and it did. Though he tested positive for covid, he did not have any symptoms, and during his last couple of days, was put in another room where his family could visit him. My brother-in-law lived long enough to tell his children and grandchildren goodbye, and he did not experience much pain. His dying before the end of the year made it so that all the medical bills were paid by  insurance. He did not die on a family members' birthday or on Christmas, but on a day between. He did not have to leave this life alone, but left surrounded by the love of his family. 

When we heard of my brother-in-law's death, both my husband and I had a strong feeling of peace and a warm assurance that this was the right time for him to move on. We felt a a confirming feeling that it was time for him to go and that he was now well and happy with family on the other side of the veil. We knew that he was now safe from physical pain and that the sorrow he carried within him could finally be healed. 

Gratitude filled us. We feel so grateful for having had the opportunity to know him; for the opportunity to live upon the earth in families; and for a Savior who has made it so we can receive our bodies again (in a perfect immortal form, of course). We feel especially grateful for our Savior who enables us to leave our mistakes behind us so we can continue to grow and come home to live with Him and our family forever.

I feel a great sense of peace today. I have seen how when my father, my step-father, and now my brother-in-law have died that my prayers have been answered. It went as easily for everyone as possible. I have an assurance that God is aware of us and watching over us. I feel safe and know that I can look forward with hope to the future because I know that my Savior will help all to happen in the best way possible; a way that will enable us to progress so that we can be together always. 

 For professional advice see:   4 Ways to Cope with Grief

Writing poems is how I express my feelings and work through my grief. 

Time to Say Goodbye by Cheryl Merrick

(thinking of my brother-in-law)

It is time for us to say goodbye

to a humble, loving man.

Desiring to be with your family,

you have bravely suffered

pain, treatments, and therapy.

The last 20 years have passed too quickly,

as you have fought to remain here

continually giving us your love and support.

Even near the end

your thoughts were of your family.

Aware that your failing body

could not keep going much longer,

you spared your family

the anguishing decision

of when to withdraw

life-sustaining support.

By your actions

letting us know

that we must accept,

as you have,

that it is time for us

to say Goodbye.

Once again leading us

with the assurance 

that you will be there to greet us

when, someday, we too return home.

Not Alone - by Cheryl Merrick

(thinking of the widows I know)

Silence hangs over my home

like a crushing weight

pressing in upon me.

Fighting the quiet,

I try to fill it with my words

as I remember all our

pleasant conversations,

but my speech only echos 

off the hard stillness. 

There is an emptiness

that can be felt

which intensifies

as the evening falls.

In the darkness,

I now startle at "strange" sounds.

Reprimanding my imagination,

I long for the comfort and security

your presence once gave me.

In these moments,

I struggle to remind myself 

that our covenants bind me, 

not only to you,

but to God 

for all eternity. 

Though you have stepped 

first through the veil,

I am not alone

for the Lord is with me each moment,

sustaining me,

and giving me the strength

to continue on. 

Saying Good-bye- for Now

(Death of a Parent)
by Cheryl Merrick

How can I say goodbye?
This is too soon.
I'm not ready to live
without you.
How can I go on
without your support?

You, who have unfailingly been there
loving and supporting me,
have left an emptiness in my life
where you have always been.

When I look into the mirror,
how can I not be filled with 
reminiscences of you?
How can I not see reflected 
the heritage you have given me?

You, who have helped shape my character,
have become a part of who I am.
I carry you with me always and 
see you in the way I do things and
in the love I share with those around me.
Yes, we will always be a part of each other.

Though you have gone on to be 
with family who has preceded you 
leaving me here to carry on the work 
that you began long ago,
I still feel your presence.

In those quiet moments 
I know that,
though we are on 
different sides of the veil,
we will always be 
connected through eternity.

Struggling, 
with accepting that I must 
wait to be with you again,
my aching heart
finally gathers the courage to
say, "Goodbye- for now".