Including Parents Who Are Not Members In Our Temple Wedding

On the long ride from Brigham Young University to my home in California, I kept wondering how my family would respond to the news that I was getting married. My fiancee had asked me to marry him just a few hours before, and now I was on my way home to spend a couple of weeks before starting my last summer class, so I could graduate in August.

Though I was excited, I had a growing sense of uneasiness about how my family would react to my marriage, and especially to my being married in the temple. Four years before when I joined The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, they hadn’t approved, and things hadn’t changed.

When I arrived home, I lasted a whole ten minutes before I blurted out my news. My step-father seemed happy, but not my mother. During the next few days, she kept trying to discourage me from getting married: Did he really love me? I hadn’t known him long enough. They needed to meet him before they gave approval. I should wait longer, perhaps a few years. Right now wasn’t a good time for the family to have a wedding. I wasn’t being considerate of them. Besides, I was wasting my education. Other family members took me aside and counseled me to at least put off having children for several years and “enjoy life first”.

Since I hadn’t realized that my marriage would be such an emotional issue, I prayed for help in dealing positively with my family. I tried to understand their feelings. I was the first to marry in the family, and the only daughter. Not being able to attend my wedding certainly was not the wedding of their dreams.