How can I say it will be well if I don't live?

 

A few people have questioned how I could say that all will be alright even if I don't recover. How can I not feel that all will be for my best good? I've had so many experiences over the years that have shown me that God really does know everything. He saw consequences and possibilities that I sure didn't, and He has shown me over and over again that He knows me and loves me. I have learned to trust Him. I feel His presence holding me up and strengthening me at this time. 

Long ago, I gave up expecting God to accept that I know more than He does. I also realized that I needed to grow up and quit measuring the Lord's love based on my immediately being given whatever I want. 

Knowing that God truly knows everything and loves me deeply, then there is only one possible conclusion -- whatever happens will be for my best good. 

Blessings in the Hospital

Last week, I was admitted to the hospital, a place I've managed to avoid for 71 years except to have our four children. I had had some abdominal swelling for a couple of weeks, but it suddenly became worse. I could no longer eat or drink and was in extreme pain. 

Our doctor at our local clinic took a CT scan which showed a large mass about the size of an orange and some smaller masses in my abdomen. He immediately sent me over to the emergency room at the large hospital near our home where they drained nearly five liters of fluid from my abdominal cavity to my great relief.

During the week I had many tests, concluding with a biopsy of the large mass on Thursday, my birthday. Over and over I heard the words, "Probable cancer", "Cancerous masses can cause tissues to leak fluid like this", and, "The oncologist (cancer doctor) will interpret all the results."